soph vs soup

most of us would admit that we don't do well with change. at some point in life we shifted from trying new things to sticking with our favorites. favorite soda, burger joint, person, preacher, film genre... sure we step outside our favorite from time to time, but usually because of a nudge/push from someone else.

sophi's life is one great big change, at least up to this point. new foods, clothes, toys, family... as you can see she wasn't so sure about the soup at culvers. but not one to avoid change she plowed right in and found it to be quite delicious (and went on to paint her face with it). here's to not shying away from change.

although, she does have a favorite blankey already, so maybe i'm way off and we're born to be stuck in our ways. either way, there's no denying the cuteness of this child.

eleven months

oscar is proud to announce that sophi is 11 months old today. as you can see, he is very excited and says that his life has been nothing but extraordinary since january.

old photos, bad sweaters and lives together

I'm not usually one to get all mushy over anniversaries. although i do admit in public that i am a bit of a romantic. anyway on this date, ten years ago, at a certain university christmas party, some quite stylish guys went out on a limb to serenade some ladies they kind of knew. fortunately the soda had been flowing freely the entire evening and these fellas were quite hopped on sugar and caffeine.

this led to much laughter and the need to remember the moment in photographs...


one such photo captured the beginnings of something beautiful...




here's to fifty more years of group shots on funny couches... i wonder if i still have that sweater?

holiday cheer ramping up!

sophi demonstrating michigan's chance for the national title...


pics from our annual "get the christmas tree" outing. sophi sporting the very warm and necessary puffy coat. the aftermath of the trip and finally our fabulous tree...which is currently standing with lights on, but without ornaments (only so much time in week).


on other news, we spent the weekend over with the ullmers in appleton (amy's family). cookie baking extravaganza! family pics at the fox valley's best lit house and home hunting in oshkosh. marking my third drive to the fox valley in one week.


next year for christmas i'm going to ask santa for a non-complicated life. some assembly required i'm sure.

Movement

this should be the place where i insert some fantastic quote or an inspirational scripture or something. it is usually a way of validating or at least adding weight to what i have to say, but not this time...

this past year has been one filled with all types of ups and downs. some downs that actually played out as ups and vise versa. out of all the twists and turns, foggy mornings and bright sun at noon moments one dream has emerged. the idea of beginning a new community of faith, one centered on values that we may not even be able to write out clearly. but that we know are essential if Jesus-following-life is to mean anything to those disconnected from church (myself included). i heard someone once say that Christian life is more than believing properly (orthodoxy), it is right movement as well (orthopraxy). like riding a bike, balance is discovered in the going, doing, moving (except to my brother-in-law and his whole "fixed gear" bike subculture -don't ask).

amy and i, along with some friends and family are on a journey to discover what a faith community, centered on living the kingdom of heaven here (oshkosh) and now, could look like. as of this moment, we've got no mission statement, no meeting place or anything... but we very much feel like God is directing us to step out this way. so here we go, closer up... deeper in.

On faith, love and stuff...

This morning I was hit (once again) with the reality that Christianity is so much more than right beliefs...

"To affirm the approach that I am advocating means we must accept that to be a Christian is to be born of love, transformed by love and committed to transforming the world with love. This is not somehow done by working ourselves up and trying to find the right way of thinking and acting, but rather in letting go and opening up to the transformative power of God. In so doing, we will not merely sit around describing God to the world, but rather, we will become the iconic spaces in which God is made manifest in the world.
Peter Rollins
How (Not) to Speak of God (p 71)

I am in love with the image of followers of Christ as "iconic spaces". There is a danger in describing yourself by what you are not. Having said that, it troubles me that so often the church seems more concerned with describing God, or God life, than in actually living, creating, healing, feeding, inspiring, going, giving, dancing, somersaulting, loving,...

It doesn't get much better...

I don't have anything to add to this. Simply click, scroll down, hit play, listen and enjoy Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Thank you Burnside Writers Collective.

ongoing saga of waking...

sophi in the afternoon. (movie guy voice) this time... it's later in the day...

coats, recess and life

"did you hear that? she said we don't need our coats! guys, she said we don't need our coats today!" you would have thought this little third grader had won the lottery from the level of his excitement. apparently the recess supervisior lady had announced that coats were not necessary after lunch because it was so nice out. i watched him from the side and smiled to myself.

simple pleasure, no coat. but this little man was owning the moment. i was right there with him.

too many days go by without even a second thought about all the little things. sure we are coming up on thanksgiving here in the states so that means everyone is thinking about being thankful. this is different. what if God was all about saying, "hey... (big grin) no coats today." do we hear those moments? life is filled with bruises and all that, but what about the times when a butterfly lands outside your window? or when you can roll your car window down in march because of an unusually nice day? or when a friend you haven't seen in a while connects with you? or you sense God leading and it's been a while? or you just feel loved?

"hey friends, did you hear that? he said no coats! i call the swings!"

they grow up so fast

by the way it is against the rules to be making random comments on the "cute baby voice" that adults must use when speaking to an infant.

Happy Halloween!

Sophi's first Halloween. She is, of course, a ladybug.

She was quite the hit at Nasonville school. As a matter of fact, she got so wired being around all the kids Sophi decided she didn't need her afternoon nap. Daddy was very happy about that, as you can imagine.

Thanks to Grandma Ullmer for her great rummage sale (known as garage sales to the rest of the western world) find... only three bucks.

sad news (tongue in cheek)

this is a sad day. the tigers bowed out of the world series losing game 5 to the cardinals. unfortunately, the boys from detroit never seemed to get things going on the big stage. when it all was said and done they just got outplayed. and so the year has come to an end.

unfortunately, not even my lucky jersey was enough to turn the tide this last game. so much for my ability to move space, time, and baseballs. oh well at least detroit's got the lions...

it was a fun year though. this year's team reminded me how much i enjoy baseball. it's good to enjoy things that are somewhat trivial from time to time.

thanks to my brother back in michigan for the official tigers peanuts. nothing beats watching a game and tossing empty peanut shells on the ground. (too bad amy wouldn't let me throw them onto the living room floor)

(the fam at a game this season over in minneapolis - it really was a fun year)

Pears Don't Stand a Chance!

As you can see, no food is safe now that Sophi is on to solids.

Detroit Tigers World Series 2006

Tonight the Tigers finished off the Oakland Athletics with a game four win in Detroit. Very rarely do I post about sports (mostly because Detroit doesn't usually offer much to brag about... insert Lions joke here) but this cannot go without mention.

I have been going to Tigers games with my family since I was very young. I remember one game I talked my dad into going to was a doubleheader that had a rain delay. Our seats were under the overhang in along the left field line so we waited it out. That was a very full day of baseball. Another time while at Tiger Stadium with my high school church group some buddies of mine and I got Rickey Henderson (A's) to flip us off. Real mature on our part I know, but man we rode him until he finally turned around and gave us the bird. They pulled him the next inning. Growing up, we used to go to two or three games a summer. The Tigers are my link to so many wonderful childhood memories... and so many disappointing seasons. But hey, they have always been my team and I've stood by them.

All that to say that I am extremely excited about our trip to the World Series. A ninth inning walk off homer by Magglio Ordonez was the perfect way to clinch this series and send Detroit on to represent the American League. Baseball... there is something right in the world when the home team wins.

So as we have said in times of old, "Bless you boys... this is our year!"

LOST - television has purpose once again

Last night ushered in season three of ABC's LOST. It's no secret that this has been our favorite TV show for the past few years. This year we decided to make an event out of it. Thus, LOST - the party. Our friends Rich, Bridget and Laura joined us for the event. Drinks were provided by The Darhma Initiative, fish compliments of Jin, Clare made some peanut butter cookies, Hurley dropped off some creamy peanut butter and Locke cooked up some wild bore sandwiches. It was quite a spread.

Some may say that this is a bit overboard. They may be right... but then again, they might be the Others.

Here's to another wonderful season; filled with great stories, knocking off main characters, scary smoke and bad black and white films. I'm sure that at the end of the year we will be just as confused, if not more so. Isn't life great?

a day well spent

yesterday amy, sophi, and i loaded up our bikes and headed over to Sparta, Wisconsin... which by the way is the bicycle capital of america.

we rented a pull behind trailer, strapped the little girl in her car seat, retrofitted it into the trailer, and headed out. the sparta trail is a state park that runs along an old rail line. this means no big hills (although some on the trail thought the 3 percent grade was a bit steep - none in our party though). the fall colors this year are fantabulous and well worth getting out and enjoying. here are a few pics and even a video link of our little adventure.

it was definately one of those perfectly timed relaxing days.

video star?

this goes out to the countless people who have asked for some clips of our little girl. i'm not sure how i feel about this, but i do think she is the cutest thing ever so you win.


sophi in the morning

enjoy

immigration (no class action faith)

this afternoon, as i was driving out to school with sophi to visit amy for lunch, i had on a christian radio station. as disturbing as that might sound, it gets worse. actually, a program was finishing up about faith and tough times,which i thought was very solid. but, after the program was over, one of those short 30 second faith blips came on. radio bumper stickers. and downhill we went.

anyway, the speaker started by asking, "red, white and green?". and then went on to briefly talk about fact that chicago had decided to celebrate mexico's independence day by lighting up its skyline red, white and green. cool, i thought. we are secure enough in our own "country-ness" that we can get excitied about another country's freedom birthday.

i was wrong. the speaker went on to throw in a jab at illegal individuals who are here trying to make a better life for themselves and their families. apparently we (as christ followers) are very against this? or at least should be? whatever. the real thing that struck me as funny/sad was the suggestion that we, the listening audience, should all call the mayor's office and tell them we are against this whole celebration thing.

then the program ended with a little jingle that said it was faith in action. what? are you kidding me? faith in action is concerned with lighting up buildings? with celebrating a neighbors' independence? with validating over 50,000 people of mexican decent in the greater chicago area? i thought faith in action was feeding the hungry, clothing those in need, hanging out with the imprisioned. i guess not.

i shouldn't get too worked up. perhaps this was one snippet from a greater teaching on practical love, serving others, offering hope to the hopeless... or maybe it's just another believer who accidentally forgot that faith doesn't have that much to do with misguided conservative patriotism.

i wonder if the (good)samiritan was legal? did he have the proper paperwork to be traveling down that road? i bet the beat up guy he helped didn't care much.

blended roles and breathing

tomorrow marks the first day of school here in our public school district. this means that my wife, amy, will be off to school in the morning just like she has for the last seven years. this year's difference being, sophi is home with me...

from go we have aimed our life in the direction of amy staying home with our family. up until recently this was still our story line. now, we continue to find ourselves in a state of transition and limbo. which translates as confused roles and sometimes frustration, both individually and collectively. this is by no means a social commentary on cultural norms in families, just our path. i have a feeling that it can be too easy for outsiders to simply tell you how you should feel or what your next life step should be. i must admidt/confess that i have heard myself say, 'you should do such and such with your life...' it's easy enough to do from the outside. i can't imagine three years of this on our terms, let alone someone elses.

and so tonight in the midst of unknown one thing i do know is that this season will very much open up into something else. something more in tune with our wiring. we are not the first to find themselves at a place in the road saying, 'this is not where i am supposed to be...'

and so, breathe in... breathe out... breathe in...

it's good to be alive and breathing air again... (robbie seay). even if we're not sure how to step next. thank God for nexts. may our lives add to Your beauty.

transformed by the grasp

we are like an infant in the arms of God, unable to grasp but being transformed by the grasp.
Peter Rollins
How (Not) To Speak Of God

i always enjoy reading an author who seems to be writing what's been locked up in my head. each page i turn i find myself nodding thinking, 'exactly!' as i drag my highlighter across another sentence/paragraph that i would have written had i only been more committed/eloquent/focused.

this is not one of those books. rollins, founder of Ikon in Belfast, is tapping things that make me both uncomfortable and at home at the same time. faith as a/theistic. God revealed and hidden. my head spins... and i'm only a chapter or two in.

thanks to brad for turing me on to this stuff... now if i can only get a cup of coffee large enough to help me through this stuff. possibly more to come as i wrap my head around the "hypernymity" of God. his being unknown, not because he is anonymous, but because he is hyper present... yeah, this might take a while.

on getting back in the saddle

a few weeks back i had the pleasure of speaking at amy's home church evangel worship center over in menasha. it had been a few weeks (as in two months) since i had last preached. which is the longest stretch i have had of non-public speaking since graduating in '00. all went well (at least i thought it did).

we looked at living life right here, right now (not through the lens of van halen...sorry). of how tomorrow and the idea of having fun then can rob us from being in the present. we also looked the flip of the past getting in the way of now.

which is exactly what i was doing the night before... i was drudging through all these questions of do i really have anything to add to this faith conversation? or does this even matter? all those good kick you in the gut self esteem questions. and then i was spinning around all these what-if's. past and future very much in the way.

what would happen if we who say we follow christ really got in the present. away from our "future hope" stuff that really excused us from living responsibly toward our neighbors, environment, and social issues. what would the church look like if we got away from the idea of eternal life being down the road and realized that it is about right now? what would it look like to really kick off the past stuff that mucks us up? i wonder.

anyway, here's a link to the message...nothing fancy, just another conversation of trying to figure faith and life and stuff out a bit more.

CARPADM

jason and i saw this on a license plate several years ago and agreed on how clever it was (carpe diem - get it?). truth be told, the last time we purchased license plates we remembered it and were tempted to steal the idea. but alas . . . the expense was deemed unnecessary (by ONE of us) and we settled for the slightly less popular "752-EYZ".

as our family (that sounds so weird) finds itself in a very strange and uncomfortable season of transition, jason and i are doing our best to be mindful of the importance of seizing each day . . .regardless of the circumstances that may be swirling around us.

jason just spoke this past sunday at the church i grew up in and built his message around an incredible quote:

Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never our end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so.

-Blaise Pascal
Pensees

it isn't always easy to stop "planning to be happy". I do, however, find it quite easy to be caught living unaware of the priceless moments that make up each day . . .right now . . .

so here's to working on it. no matter how uncertain the future may seem, our lives are about what we do and who we love today. may we not allow the past or the future to rob us of the incredible moments of right now.

here are a few i was fortunate enough to notice . . .

sophi turns 6 months old



















napping in the shade










-


cheering for the detroit tigers














enjoying eachother's company

happy anniversary

so what's a romantic night out when you've got a six month old? what does a seven year anniversary look like when you've got an infant?

real pizza. yatzee (we both won one game). starbucks. target run.

i'm discovering that life just doesn;t get much better than this. but what about a job? where are we going? how will we make it? still not sure...but i know that everything is going to be alright. because coffee is cheap, laughter is still free and my wife still lights up when she looks my way. what else is there?

thanks for seven great years, babe. here's to seventy more.

lady in the water

(don't worry i won't give any details of the movie)

so amy and i just experienced m. night shyamalan's new movie the lady in the water . it was fantabulicious. shyamalan continues to solidify his place as a great american story teller.

but the moment of the night came after the movie had ended. we were sitting in our seats at the end of the film, taking things in and getting our heads around everything, when a person in the group that had been sitting behind us goes, "that was the dumbest movie i've ever seen." aim and i just looked at each other and smiled. one person in the group (who was talking on her mobile phone) turned to a friend and said, "we should head back to my house and finish watching team america." (for real life) there you go. apparently a thought-provoking script, character development, suspense without gore, and the stuff of good story telling can't compete with dancing, swearing, violent puppets.

i know it's not polite to actually laugh at people... but that was just too funny to let pass. i have to confess, laugh we did... and it felt really good.

identity crisis

nothing helps a person who is not really sure about themself quite like being at home. especially after having been moved out for oh... 12 or so years. and having been married. and having a little baby. college? yup done that. graduated? you bet. real job? also a check in that column. but who am i? where am i going? what really matters in life? all great questions... all tough to focus on when you are thrown back into 1993. not that '93 was a bad year, senior year in high school. owner of a car and all that.

but how can so much time go by, so many life changing experiences and all that jazz only to find yourself out in the front yard, cutting the same lawn you vowed never to mow again. to make matters more blurry my ipod was stuck on 80's metal. (good and bad) i could almost feel my mullet flowing in the breeze. almost.

so what's the point of this, one more random thought? if you are having an identity crisis or at least a life reaxamination... spending significant time at your childhood home can be quite confusing. not bad, just hard to process. but then stepping back is very important...especially when you've been told forward is the real direction that matters.

thoughts on water

can you spot which one of the fiedler's is going in the pool for the first time? since amy is very much uncomfortable around water, i thought i better get this girl in the water as soon as possible. it's amazing how much water those little diapers can soak up (hers, not mine).

mission accomplished. one daughter who will not be nervous around large bodies of water.

today we are on to niagra falls. which reminds me of when my brothers and i were younger and we would go to the falls with my family. everytime we went we would spend a few days building indestructable boats using scrap wood from the garage. each of us would brag about how this year our boat would be the one to make it all the way to the ocean via the st lawrence seaway. we would paint on our names and address along with a message saying, "if you find this boat, please drop us a note and say how far they got." year after year, boat after boat would go over the falls. year after year, boat after boat, dream after dream would head over the edge... never to be seen or heard from again. ah, the memories. i wonder if this was legal? they sure wouldn't have had any trouble tracking down the young aquatic litterbugs.

one more day of travel. through canada and on to port huron, michigan.

my ipod's new friend

well, the long awaited new release from David Crowder*Band is out.

the timing couldn't be better. i am a firm believer in having a soundtrack for my life. funny as it may sound, i often find myself thinking, "if this were a movie, what would be playing in the background?" narcissism? maybe. but fun none the less.


anyway, enough about my problems. i say the timing couldn't be better because this current season of life is one that is chalked full of unknowns and not-quite-sures. which is just how i would describe this album. some familiar songs (wholly yours, beautiful collision) but from a whole new angle. more than a simple remix album, b collision goes in directions that don't sound like they should work but are fantastilicious. for example... a banjo and a violin? couldn't be more perfect together.


so anyway, if you are looking for that early summer soundtrack, filled with happy go for a drive music...you might want to keep looking. but you'll miss a "for real life" keeper.


ps... if you pick this up from itunes, you'll keep from missing the best track, which is "Do Not Move". turn up the music. close your eyes. listen for God.

back home again

walking out of airport customs to see your wife and daughter is an amazing thing. amy and sophi were standing there with a sign that said "welcome home daddy". now, i've been through lots of pick up points and have seen lots of signs for people that have never meant much to me... my guess is that most all of us have. strange how our livs can be filled with times of overlapping into others very special moments and there we are "extras". one thing that i walk away from these past few days in the Netherlands with is an extra appreciation for community. relationships pretty much make or break us. yeah i know we all know that, but walking down an airport hallway sure is different when you read the sign that says, "welcome home daddy" and your little girl and wife are the ones smiling there.

i wonder what life would be like if we really were able to live in a way that all the time we held out signs that read, "welcome home"?

i'll recap the trip...at some point. let's just say it was awesome.

Sophi does Mad City . . .

We're back (online that is . . . .and also from Madison). We're having Aaron's (Amy's brother) graduation party tomorrow so Mom has us all working hard on slicing, dicing, decorating and cleaning. That doesn't leave much time for blogging. But alas . . . Mom finally fell asleep. We're free, we're free!!! (Love you, Mom.)

Anyway, thought we'd tell a little about our big trip to Madison on Thursday. Mike (Amy's brother) needed a way to get back to Menasha for the big grad party so we decided to take a trip to visit him in and give him a ride back. Our traveling crew included (see photo) Sophi and I, Aaron and Bubba (Amy's brothers), and Marcus and Annali (family friends). We were lucky enough to find lodging at Mike's house where he lives with five other guys. Sleeping bags were required for this trip. You'll notice from the photo that even Sophi had to rough it as I made her a little "nest" on the floor. She slept like a baby (yes, pun was intended).

Some of the highlights of our 24 hour escapade included eating on the roof of a great Greek restaurant (see photo), bumming around up and down State St., and taking in the Wisconsin Cow Parade (http://wisconsin.cowparade.com/) that is on display in Madison right now (sorry, I don't know how to do those cool hyper links yet). The photo you see is of all of us posing with one of the 101 cows on display. This particular one is entitled "Bumper-cow". The whole thing is really a unique and enjoyable art exhibit.

Closing remarks? We're having a good time here but we sure miss you, Daddy! Please come home soon!

day 6 (Amsterdam!)

Amsterdam. this is a city a person could fall in love with. so much culture. so many people. so much to see and experience. let me say for the record that our guide Stephen did a fantabulicious job of keeping us clear of the stereotypical "Amsterdam" stuff. we walked by some coffee shops, legal pot shops, and one or two shops that you had to keep "your eyes upon the sparrow" as they say.

the canals were fantastic. the city is amazing. the leaning buildings that were built on wooden foundations that have begun to rot. the parrallel parking right up on a canal with no guard rail...are we good? too far? where did my car go? oh its in the water alright... do i still have to pay for parking down there?

bikes everywhere! it's the way to travel here. makes me feel very lazyu for hopping in the car to go get a gallon of milk just up the street. we are going to be going back into the city on monday for our free day so there will be more time to check things out.

its too much to try to download here so i won't even try. the service went very well. thestudents put together a quick worship set and did a few songs... they did a really good job, they are a talented bunch. then they had an icebreaker (summer trivia) a full worship set by their team and then Kent spoke. He also did a great job. I think the nationals really connected with him. the team from Teen Challenge (not what your thinking... more teen less rehab) are fantastic. God has really put together an amazing bunch of people who want to just love on that city. light for real in a pretty dark spot.

on to the food. lunch sandwiches (breakfast same stuff as all week) i "forgot" mine, actually i overslept and didn't have time to make anything, fortunately they gave me some of their sandwiches. a hearty mix of vegetables in a bun. (you could get used to it for sure). dinner was another variation on noodles, tomato sauce, meat and vegetables (i call it goulaash... but i of course don't know how to spell it)

got home around 11:30 or 23:30 for all you non Americans.

Kid's Fest tomorrow!